Mushrooming "old-age-homes".... - Why?

DEDICATED TO ALL PARENTS ON THIS "PARENTS DAY"

An anecdote from an earlier 'whatsapp' message:

Parents' answering machine:

Good morning. At present, we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep...

Beeeeep...

If you are one of our children, dial 1 and select the option from 1 to 5 in order of 'birth arrival', so we know who it is.

  • If you need us to stay with your children, press 2
  • If you want to borrow the car, press 3
  • If you want us to wash your clothes, and do iron, press 4
  • If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
  • If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
  • If you want us to prepare a meal for you on Sunday, press 7
  • If you want to come and have dinner tonight, press 8
  • If you want money, press 9
  • If you are going to invite us to dinner, or take us to the theater, start talking..., we are listening!
May be, this is written in a lighter vain. But this is sadly true! In this fast-paced world, there is no time for anyone to look after their parents. Can we blame the younger generation for this sad state of affairs? Well, there are 2 schools of thought...

Given the present scenario, it is difficult for the younger generation to balance and manage the office and the family, due to various reasons. Take the office - Deadlines, Hectic work-schedule, Peer pressure, Need to out-smart your colleague to go up in the ladder, Fear of getting retrenched, Self-induced pressure of EMI payment, Unholy working hours, Commuting tension in cities (between home and office and back), Improper food at odd hours..., and the list goes on.... And at home - Unwinding your office pressure at home and it's repercussion, Doing office work at home, Not being able to spend quality time with wife and child(ren), Not able to (or not willing to) help the wife in household chores, Incompatibility with wife (due to the above reasons), Loss of sleep..., and it is a never-ending list. During the entire proceedings, will you be able to even remember your parents (leave alone taking care of them). It is hardly possible. Can you escape from the above scenario....?

There is yet another situation the youngsters face these days. Mostly being a one child for the parents and in your pursuit of 'greener pastures', you may settle down in USA, Canada, Switzerland.... Your parents not used to the cold climate prevailing there, most of the year, may not be able to accompany you there. Whom to blame for this situation....? 

Another school of thought - You do have some responsibility towards your parents, who have suffered throughout their lives to bring you up and take you to this present position and status. Should you not show some semblance of gratitude at least? After all, they do not have anyone-else to look up to (especially when they cannot fend for themselves). But for their unknown and unseen sacrifices, you would not have reached this level. Never, ever think of admitting your parents in "old age people homes". Despite your difficult position, this should be totally avoided. Your child(ren) will learn from your actions, in the long run!

But in my honest opinion, the scene varies from parson to person. When the parents are able to look after themselves (that too up to a certain age only), let them be on their own. If they need any monetary help from you, please provide, without any hesitation or reservation. Occasional visits and interaction at regular intervals should be fine. But if the parents do not have the capacity to look after themselves, it is your duty to take care of them, as they are no more your parents, but they are like your child(ren). Consider them that way and your life should include them in all walks of your life, till their end.

Though your old parents might get the timely medical attention, good food, companionship etc., in the "old-age-homes", the mental agony they go through (in missing you and the family, especially the grandchild(ren), cannot be explained in words. If you do not do your "duty" correctly, your conscience will torture you, at a later stage (especially when you face a similar situation).

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